I AIN’T NO COWGIRL

by ccdorr

My horses are in the back yard, the front yard, the side yard

Whereever there’s a patch of grass to fence in.

A poet, a picture taker, a singer, a guitar player -

a follower of Jesus -

I’m half California Hick, half Idaho Mountain Woman

A bit of a wild streak, a nature’s child, an herbalist,

I love to be free.

An' I ain’t no cowgirl.

I have no fashion sense, love my scrubby Levis and Wranglers

My baggy T-shirts, my hiking boots;

Wear my cowboy boots just to ride

My horses

Through the brush, up and down hills, through the water

‘Lets see if I can get him to jump the ditch’

My Quarter Horse gelding,

He’s scared of water, you know, so it takes a bit of patience

Waiting for him to cross the creek.

He sits and thinks and thinks and thinks

Takes a step, looks back, then he goes

Through the water.

I’ll do any thing for a challenge – That’s me.  At least,

These days, it’s been a healthy challenge. 

I used to create unhealthy challenges in my life.

But Jesus changed all that.

I could sit and listen to their chewing for hours, the horses that is,

With the breeze in my hair and the crickets chirping or

Whatever it is that crickets do.

Horses blow, stomp, blow, stomp – blow their noses, stomp at flies

Tonight, The sky is turquoise blue with white cotton tufts of clouds.

Oliver, the dog, comes by, leans on me, nearly knocks me over

He’s all wet and muddy from sloshing in the creek down below.

Now my jeans are soaked and covered with black mud

The Wisconsin black mud, slippery, slimy, fertile mud

And they wonder why I never dress up.

I would never miss a chance to have Oliver,

Over a hundred pounds of lap dog, nearly knock me over with dog licks and snuggles.

I ain’t no cowgirl, or famous horsewoman.

My horses live beside me, outside my window.

I call their names from inside the window and they look for me,

But they only see their reflection in the window.

The stud horse always whinnies

When he sees his reflection in the window.

I call again.

They keep looking for me.

My voice comes from the window;

But they can’t see me.

But they know I’m there.

Just like God is to me

I can’t see him

He calls my name

I can hear him

I can’t see him

But I know he’s there

When I see my horse I see my reflection-

Their eyes are

 the window to my soul.

I find my face in the reflection of one their eyes and I try to see what they see.

After many years

Of trial and error

I like what I see

An I still ain’t no cowgirl

With polished boots, and a brass buckle, and silver on my saddle

An’ I ain’t no hoity toity city girl

With painted finger nails and perfect makeup

An I like what I see when I see my reflection

In the window of

My horses eyes.

Maybe I’ll be like the stud horse and whinny when I see myself.

I new a girl named Whinny, 

I worked with her at Bargain Giant

In Idaho

She was really nice.  I like her a lot.  She wasn’t a cowgirl either.

Just grew up with horses and her parents named her Whinny.

I’m a Back Yard Horse Girl

Who loves to be free

My gray haired braid

Hanging down my back,

Feet in the stirrups, reigns lightly in my hands.

My Arab Mare blows and snorts, but she trusts me

Even though she’s not sure,

She quivers,

Steps forward, jerks a bit, steps back,

She’s not sure, but she trusts me and moves forward and it’s

All okay

Like God and me,

I quiver, blow and snort, step forward, jerk a bit, step back,

I’m not sure, but I trust Him and I move forward and it’s

All okay

Jesus don’t care that I ain’t no cowgirl or that this poem don’t rhyme,

He don’t care about keeping up appearances, or the passing of time,

He just loves you and me just the way we are.

He knows I love horses

And He has blessed me with them abundantly.

So whatever label is tacked onto my name

You can all be sure

For my Father in Heaven and His only Son,

I’ll be the best Backyard Horse Girl I can be.

To my grandchildren

love, grammy cc